Ahhh Where Does Time Go?!?!

I have totally been absent for what 3 months now!?!?
What have I been doing?
I been with you boys.
We've been learning to walk.
Building forts.
Reading books, lots of books.
Learning to be nice, not hit, not bite, share.....
These last three months have been wonderful
I have witnessed you two become so close.
Kade, you have made a complete 180.
You are the sweetest little boy who loves everyone.
When daddy works nights you always try to break into the room to wake him during the day.
He has to be the one to put you to bed, but I have to be the one who gets you out.
You love your new school and have finally taken to it.
Krew you have become more of a little boy than toddler.
This year you knew what Santa was all about and couldn't wait to see the surprises he brought you.
You are working on the potty training, and truly it is hit or miss.
I think we might lay off for a while....
You are very much into MINE :-)
You tell everyone how much you love them.
You two are by far the most amazing little guys and I can't wait to see what amazing things you accomplish this year!
I will do my best to keep my online journal to never forget these precious moments.
However I will not waste time on here when I can be snuggling with you, so forgive me if my entries are spotty!

The hardest, most rewarding, amazing year of my life

Tonight we celebrated little Kader's birthday.
It was not your normal 1st birthday.
I have been very selfish with Kade. This is no joke.
I felt like with Krew I let everyone in. I let everyone have a special relationship with him.
Not Kade. He is mine.
This may sound weird, and I don't know why I am this way with him. Probably because he is the baby.
When we started planning his big first birthday party I made it very clear it would be family and a very small amount of friends.
Mostly friends who have kids so Krew and Kade could have some play mates.
So tonight I watched my baby play with the big kids like he belonged, and I guess he did.
Now I sit here and think back on the last year.....

I will start by saying this has by far been the hardest year of my life.
I never imagined having two babies under two would be so incredibly hard.
I can't count how many times I broke down and cried because I didn't know what to do.
I did this with just Krew, but adding a newborn into the mix while still trying to teach a baby/toddler is beyond overwhelming.
I made more mistakes than I would like to admit.
I neglected my husband more than I should have.
I neglected myself.
I have learned to live on coffee and I feel grateful for 6 solid hours of sleep.
I now know what it is like to feel completely helpless while watching your baby go through physical therapy 2 times a week, then 1 time a week, then every other, and finally being able to celebrate graduating.
I can now tell you I sat in the car and cried for a good five minutes every time we finished, and then cried tears of joy on that final day.

Moving on to Rewarding.....
The final 2 sentences in the above section might seem like it belongs here, but that was not my accomplishment. That was his. He tolerated the hours of therapy, he wore the helmet, he did it not me.
I do take pride in having the two most unique, loving, smart, handsome boys I know.
It has been beyond rewarding to watch them learn to love, learn to play, and most importantly learn to be brothers. Krew has been nothing short of amazing, and Kade has been.... well a little brother. He follows Krew around and imitates everything he does. They play peek-a-boo, chase, and even wrestle. They are best friends and that I am proud of.

This year has truly been a blessing. I did not plan it this way, but hey I don't really believe we are in charge. That is why every night when I hold that baby that gave me so many scares, sleepless nights, and smiles I whisper in his ear, "God gave me you." I beleive that with everything I am.

I know life will not get any easier. I know there are going to be challenges at ever age, but I am also beyond excited to spend these years with them. Growing as a family, as a person, and most importantly a mom.

{She will be loved}

Sweet little Kyler,
You have no idea what you have ahead of you.
Some would consider you very lucky, some might worry for you.
Me? I think you will be loved.
Tonight I watched some of the toughest guys I know look at you with a look I've never seen.
I watched my own two little boys stare at you with awe and love.
You little princess will be very well taken care of.
Maybe a little too good.
They may be over protective, but honey I promise it is because we asked them to be.
Please be patient with them, because I one day you will thank them from keeping all the creeps away from you!
You are so incredibly loved by all of us! Always remember that!

What is a friend?

It is so funny but I think about this a lot.
I'm not really sure why, but it is something my husband and I talk about often.
So here is what I have come up with.....
Facebook should be divided up between friends, and people I know.
I mean really I can tell you I probably look at 20 pages TOPS, and I can tell you why I look at those pages: a. They have kids around my kids age. This makes up for probably 15 of the 20 pages I actually keep up with. or B. They were someone who I was very close with at one point. (This being the other maybe 5 pages.)
I can tell you I NEVER look at my friends pages who I hang out with.
I mean really I don't need to look at pictures of Mo due to the fact I see her beautiful face every day. If she updates her status I was normally with her, or heard about it over the phone or text.
So with this in mind I sit here and think of my 390 "Friends" who are truly friends?
What is a friend?
Here is what I have come up with.
I have mommy friends.
These are the amazing people who I may not be friends with outside of this lovely circle of mommyhood.
We talk about our kids, and truly care what is going on with each others children.
I would also say that most of these friends are facebook friends.
We comment on funny status updates, pictures, and milestones.
I know I can ask any one of these ladies a question, and they will be quick with advice.

I have my back in the day friends.
These are the friends who I will always love and cherish, but will probably never have "that" relationship with.
These are both the male and female friends who know who I was, and why I am who I am now.
They are the friends who I go to lunch with when they are in town.
The ones I laugh with about "That one time in high school"
The ones I have endless pictures of.....

There are the Old friends that are new again.
These ones are very special to me at the moment.
I mean how wonderful is it to rekindle an old friendship.
They know your crazy stories, but you get to catch up on the past several years.

I have the "family" friends
These people know who they are.
These are the friends that would do anything for me, and I would do anything for them.
These are Krew and Kade's aunts and uncles, maybe not by blood, but by love.
These are the people who I miss when I don't see for a week.
The people who can walk into my house the day BEFORE the cleaner comes, and I don't care.
They know the me that stresses, cries, worries, fights, obsesses, and loves.
These are the few. The few who I trust with all I have.

Of all these friends I cherish what we have to offer each other. I mean that is the true meaning of friendship right?
Giving
Giving advice, a helping hand, a memory

Where has the summer gone???

I know it's only Aug., but if you are a teacher you know what this means.
Yeah we don't have to be back in our classroom until the 16th, but we all know if you wait until the 16th to start on your room your kids will come back to a disaster.
So the next few days I will go in for a couple of hours while the boys stay with their dad.
Our last month of summer has been filled with swimming lessons, fair, running through the sprinkler, and hiding from the heat.
My boys are both like me in the fact that we literally get ill if we are in the heat for a long time.
My sister used to joke and say I was the only person she knew who was allergic to the sun, but I think I really might be!
Krew's 2nd birthday party was a blast!
He had his two best buddies over, and let me tell you the girls better watch out in 16 years!
Our friends the Hills had their baby girl, we took a trip to Cheyenne for ZBB!!
It was so nice to get out with the husband without the kids, but I will be the first to admit that I missed them even though we were gone 28 hours.
And now here we are the 4th of August trying to plan a family vacation before I have to go back to work.
I'm sad that I really don't think it is going to happen.
But I will try to be better at keeping up on this so I don't get so far behind, and write so poorly!
I'll leave you today with Krew's 2 year old pictures. Our friend Janelle did these, and they are amazing!

The Best Two Years Of My Life

Dear Krew,
Wow buddy it's finally here! Tomorrow you're going to be two. I cannot believe how fast these years have gone by. It seems like just yesterday my heart started walking around outside of me, and always with you. If I could tell you what you have brought to me I'm sure they would be the most beautiful words, however it is just a feeling that is absolutely wonderful! Over the last two years I have smiled more, cried more, and loved more than one would think possible.

I know I've said this before, and I believe it with everything I am. We all have a purpose in life, and yours truly is to bring happiness to others. You have been doing it since the day you were born. A complete stranger can walk right up to you and within seconds you have them smiling. I'm not sure how you do this but you just do.

Lately you have been in love with Mickey Mouse! You want him first thing in the morning, and right before you go to bed. Some other things you currently love are animals (horses, cows, and sheep), our dogs, your brother, swimming, and jumping. Whenever we go to grandmas you pull all the farm animals out and any of the "armers" you can find. (I'm pretty sure she has one left because you always bring them home). We go on walks most mornings, and you always have to walk Riley. She is such a great sport, and just lets you pull her around. Your baby brother like always is your most favorite. You always want to hold him, and I let you because before we know it he is going to be bigger than you! We just started swimming lessons, and that is all you have talked about today. And jumping oh jumping. You jump wherever you go! I think you are really just showing off, but hey your getting really high!

Again like I've said before you are SMART! We were at Mo and Ben's the other night and you picked something up and said, "Cone" sure enough you were holding a cone in your hand! You know all your colors, but still get a few mixed up (red, purple, and pink are all pink). You love blue and always point out blue things. Recently you tell everyone to look and tell them all about what you are looking at. Tonight you said, "Look mommy it a pretty flower." Of course it was our favorite kind the beloved dandylion. You have also started to say some not so cute things...."Oh F*@k." We have learned to just ignore it, and this seems to really be helping. I'm not sure where you learned that, but I was mortified the first time to hear it, and probably gave you too much attention for it, so then you learned to say it whenever I was busy with brother, or not giving you 100% of my attention.

Physically you are still such a stalky guy, and Rob Orchard has you pinned to be a wrestler. I'll take that I guess. Right now you are 35 inches, and if the doubling rule is correct that will make you about 5'10". That would be about what I have always expected anywhere between 5'8"-5'"10. You weigh 31 pounds, but are really starting to thin out and look like a little boy instead of a toddler.

Well love keep that amazing personality and you will be sure to go places! Love you to the moon and back my little man!

XOXO,
Mommy

P.S. There is a parade tomorrow just for you!! (Ok maybe the fair, but we'll tell you that!)

Ready or Not!!

Krew is turning 2!!
I cannot believe it has been 2 years since my life has been changed for the better.
This is not his 2 letter so I'm going to avoid the mushy details but share what we have planned for our big boy!
We have come up with a few birthday traditions in all our 1 birthdays celebrated so far (hehe)
Here they are:
1. Birthday's are declared "YES" days. This means he asks we say yes. This tradition will go on until he learns how to manipulate the yes day. i.e. asking for cars.....(You get the point)
Last year on yes day we didn't have to do much due to the limited vocabulary! This year I am slightly nervous!
2. It is your day. What this means is Tuesday we will take Kade to the sitter and give Krew our undivided attention. I will do the same on Oct. 12 and I am already planning on taking the day off from work to spend with only Kade. I have a feeling when they get older they will want their brother with them, but right now we are still pretty little and like attention.
3. You will wake up to a room filled with balloons. Seth came up with this one, because he said when he was little he always expected something cool right when he woke up! (lol)
This is really what we've got, but I'm loving making our family traditions our own, and it helps me get over the fact that my babies are growing faster than I would like!
Take a look at Krew's awesome cake pops! We have both Minnie and Mickey for the boys and girls of course!
Here is the website:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/MomsKillerCakes?ref=seller_info

Amazing company and easy to work with!